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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30000105">overthinking is bad for your mental health</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hjstars/pseuds/hjstars'>hjstars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, M/M, he overthinks a lot, hyunjin has social anxiety, its just me projecting onto hyunjin, jisung is such a good boyfriend ok, lifes hard especially in the pandemic, the others arent mentioned or anything but theyre there i swear, theyre boyfriends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:40:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30000105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hjstars/pseuds/hjstars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>hyunjin has birthday soon and completely didn't expect jisung to do what he did</p><p>my take on blossom boy fic fest<br/>please read it i swear its good</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Blossom Boy Fest</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>overthinking is bad for your mental health</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>hyunjin was, oh so excited for his birthday.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he wasn't the type to loudly celebrate. the only people he needed were his friends, family, and now — his boyfriend. he still needed to choose whether he wanted to celebrate outside or inside. he checked the weather — it will be sunny and warm. no rain. no snow. just a few clouds. but did he want to go outside? it was a covid pandemic, after all. he didn't want any of his friends to get sick. but maybe they will want to go out? what should he do? he doesn't want to. but it's his friends. he should be able to make them ha-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"jinnie." hyunjin blinked. he snapped out and looked over to jisung, laying on his bed upside down. his blond hair was almost touching the carpet floor with how long it was. "don't worry too much about your birthday, hm? you don't even have to throw a party."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i want to." he winced at the pain in his throat. was he getting sick? what if he won't be able to throw a party? he wanted to, he really did. but when was the last time he was outside? days, weeks ago? was it longer? hyunjin sighed. months ago. he hasn't left his house since the start of online learning. was jisung getting tired of him? they have been always hanging out in his room. every time, jisung invited him over, he declined and the younger was the one coming to his place. he was getting annoying, wasn't he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"jinnie, baby, stop overthinking. i love you, yeah?" he didn't even notice when jisung moved from the bed to his side. he felt his hand being squeezed lightly, but he couldn't take his eyes off jisung's soft smile. he was so beautiful, right? of course, he was. "thank you," jisung laughed a little, cheeks a bit red. hyunjin widened his eyes. he said it out loud. "you're beautiful, too, jinnie. remember that." the younger boobed his nose, giggling. hyunjin was blushing. a lot. he felt his ears and cheeks burning, heart beating so fast, he was scared it's gonna jump out of his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>exactly a week left to his birthday. seven days. 20th of march. 20th of march. 20th of march. march, march, march. wait, it's march already? how has time flown by so fast? what year is it? what year? hyunjin gulped, fishing his phone out of his pocket, as fast as he can. calendar, where is it? it's 2021. 2021? wasn't it 2020 yesterday? hyunjin was staring blankly at his phone, his vision unfocusing. he couldn't see the numbers, white and red mixing together. he blinked, trying to make his eyes focus again. it's no use. it never is. he just needs to wait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"hey, hyunjin, you there?" hyunjin snapped his head up, relief washing over him, when he could see normally again. he nodded his head. seungmin was staring at him for a while, eyebrows furrowed a little, before talking again. hyunjin wanted to text jisung. he wanted the boy to come here and hug him. can't seungmin leave him alone? he's gonna see kim on his birthday anyway. before he could blink, he was alone. was he really alone?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"jinnie, you've been spacing out a little recently. is there something on your mind?" jisung asked. did he call him jinnie? jinnie. jinnie. isn't jisung the only one that calls him that? he is. jinnie. he likes it. "hyunjin?" hyunjin? why hyunjin? is he mad? hyunjin has never seen jisung mad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"are you angry at me?" hyunjin asked, looking up at jisung. the younger furrowed his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"why would i?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"you said hyunjin and you always refer to me as jinnie." jisung's eyes softened. he scurried closer to him, putting a hand on his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i just wanted to get your attention. sorry." hyunjin gulped, swallowing down the want to apologize. jisung was always telling him, he doesn't need to do that when it's not even his fault. "so, what's on your mind? you don't need to tell me, of course," jisung immediately reassured, sliding into the latter's lap. hyunjin subconsciously grabbed his hip, avoiding eye contact. "i'm just worried."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"what are you scared of?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"being old? i'm getting older and older every day and i can't do anything about it. i want to feel like i'm alive, but we're in the middle of a pandemic. i want to hang out with my friends outside, not sitting in my room all day. i'm scared that before i blink i'm gonna be old and..." hyunjin spit out, stopping to take a deep breath. "i don't wanna be like this." jisung panicked a little, seeing tears in his boyfriend's eyes. he cupped his face, big droplets sliding down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"jinnie..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i have so many things i wanna do, but i need to change myself and my routine and literally everything and changes are so hard and i'm so scared." hyunjin sobbed, hiding his face in the space between jisung's neck and shoulder. his skin immediately became wet with tears and a little bit of saliva, because of hyunjin's harsh breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"is that what troubles your little head?" jisung softly brushed the older's hair. he hugged him harder, sobs flattening down a little. han knew hyunjin was sensitive. he never wanted for him to be unhappy. "jinnie, i know it's hard okay. i don't know what should i say to you, because i've never struggled with these things and i don’t want to make you feel like your feelings are not valid. because they are. you matter, hyunjin. take your time and don't worry. i'll always be here for you when you need me." hyunjin pulled back, looking into jisung's eyes. he felt a kiss on his nose and then a little peck on his lips. he blushed, swallowing down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"but i don't want you to feel like you're stuck with me..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i'm not. i love you with my whole heart, yeah? remember that." jisung smiled, leaning his forehead against hyunjin's. things will be fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>****</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>things were not fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>hyunjin was close to crying. it was his first time going outside in MONTHS and he was hoping he could hang out with jisung. and here he was sitting under a blossoming tree, tears forming in his eyes. why? well...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he asked jisung to hangout. he was standing in front of his apartment, waiting for a text from him. and he did get it. but not the one, he wanted. apparently, jisung was sick and couldn't go out. he swore that he's taking care of himself after hyunjin's countless question about how he's feeling, does he need help, etc.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it's not like hyunjin had anything else to do, that's why he took a route to a shop to buy something for dinner before he comes back home. and what has he seen here? jisung with their friends, laughing. and he definitely didn't look sick. guess, he has grown tired of hyunjin, hasn't he? did he do something wrong? he didn't mean to. he was trying to be the best person he can and was trying really, really hard to be a good boyfriend. was he not enough?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>hyunjin hasn't even noticed, when tears started to stream down his cheeks. he flinched, feeling the warm liquid, pooling more and more in his eyes. he dried them off, trying hard not to cry. he was in public and couldn't let strangers see him like this. he quickly stood up and started walking home with a head down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>hyunjin sighed quietly, looking at his screen that was illuminating in the dark. the blinds were pulled down, the only light was from the door and his phone. jisung sent him another message, asking if he was okay. and hyunjin was, in fact, not okay. he still was sad about jisung's lie. he hasn't been responding to any of his boyfriend's texts, laying in his bed for days now. and his boyfriend wasn't the only one that was texting him. he even got a message from seungmin. and he was known to not liking texting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it's not like he wanted to not text him back. he was just mad. why would he lie to him? what was the point? and he knew it's hyunjin's birthday tomorrow! maybe he intended to make him sad?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>what if jisung wanted to break up with him? maybe he didn't love him anymore? was he getting tired of him? hyunjin let out a shuddering breath, turning on his other side. he probably should get some sleep. tomorrow was an important day after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it was his birthday. wow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>hyunjin wake up with a lump in his throat, head pounding. the room was still dark but got up nonetheless. should he go to a store and buy a cake? or bake it himself? he had no idea. last year jisung was the one who did almost everything for him. invited their friends, got a cake, decorated the house and he even bought snacks and drinks with his own money. and didn't want hyunjin to repay him. the brunette sighed. maybe he was just making a big deal out of all of this. he shouldn't be mad at jisung, when the younger done so many things for him. it was probably his fault anyway. he went down the stairs to finally eat something and take some painkillers. he felt a phone vibrating in his pocket and he took it out. there was a message from his mom and below it, he saw jisung’s name. maybe he really should text him back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>jinnie:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>um hi</span>
</p><p>
  <span>im alive no need to worry</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he sighed, placing his phone on a counter to make himself breakfast. he was a birthday boy today and could treat himself, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>****</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"hush!" jisung whispered, sending angry glances at jeongin, who was still talking. the younger caught his gaze and immediately shut his mouth, not wanting to anger the older more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>jisung dialed hyunjin's number, waiting for his voice next to his ear. they haven’t spoken in some time and jisung got worried. he got the boy’s texts, but it still didn’t calm down his nerves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"hi, jinnie. it's your birthday today, so i thought that you could come over and spend some quality time together. and then we can invite others, if you want," jisung answered, waiting for the response. there was a few seconds of silence and then hyunjin spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"sure. how do you want me to dress?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"however you like, you look good in everything." jisung ended the call, after saying a quick bye. he gave thumbs up to others. now they needed to wait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>minutes after, there was a knock at the door. jisung immediately sprinted towards it, happily opening it. hyunjin gave him a small smile, looking further into a room. he was dressed i black pants with a white, soft shirt. he looked mesmerizing and jisung quickly found himself not be able to stop staring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>before the brunette could react, he was engulfed in a crushing hug. he smiled, tears of happiness, that they remembered. they have known each other for a long time now, but in the back of the head, hyunjin still had a fear, that they don’t care about him and are gonna leave in the most unexpected moment. he was let free, breathing heavily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i love you so much jinnie. happy birthday." seconds after there were jisung's hands on his cheeks, and lips against his. and hyunjin really couldn't be happier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>****</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he and jisung sat together on the wooden bench in the latter's garden. they were silent — hyunjin thinking about today and jisung admiring him from the side. the weather was nice, no rain and warm, pleasing air. the sky was dark blue, no clouds to be seen, showing millions ad millions of stars. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"you're really really pretty, you know that?" jisung asked. hyunjin whipped his head, red immediately covering his cheeks. he heard that a lot from jisung, the latter always making sure, he knew how appreciated and loveable he is. and the boy was grateful. he couldn’t ask for more from jisung.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"you think so?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"you're the prettiest and the best person alive."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"you know what? i thought you wanted to break up with me," hyunjin laughed a little, averting his gaze. jisung furrowed his eyebrows, trying to bring up some type of memory from that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"what do you mean?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"i saw you with others at the store a few days ago. you told me you were sick..." jisung gasped, his eyes widening. so that’s why.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"oh my god, i'm so sorry jinnie baby. i didn't want to hurt you, i just didn't know what to tell you, to not let you know about the surprise and everything. i'm so sorry." hyunjin smiled, shaking his head at jisung's desperate expression. he couldn’t be mad at him for too long and he could never break up with jisung. he was his sunshine and didn’t see the world beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"it's okay," he whispered, cupping the younger's face, then softly kissing him, sounds of their friends arguing in the background.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and well, things turned out to be fine.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading and if you can please leave kudos &lt;33</p></blockquote></div></div>
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